Forklift Rodeo, the Finale

Your blogger with Lamar Nelson, Forklift Rodeo Mastermind, Historian, Archeologist and Archivist

The course.
(Note: this was meant to be posted last night, but airlines delays got us home too late.)
Last night in the fragrant southern evening, swooning by the Mahonia (an evergreen shrub with dark blue berries named for the horticulturalist Bernard McMahan who introduced the plant from the Lewis and Clark expedition), amid my cousin’s woodland hellebores, we espied the holes of voles. Or moles. The more you try to distinguish between moles and voles, the more confusing it becomes. (Yes, I know the obvious answer.)
A little research leads me to believe the aforementioned must be voles, because moles are semi-aquatic, quasi-blind mammals that subsist mostly on earthworms, while voles are rodents sometimes called meadow mice and their diet consists of the roots of all the plants you especially like in your garden, and Douglas fir needles.

This morning we debouched from the Hampton Inn, situated snugly between Denny’s and Arby’s on Route 85 and just across from the worldwide headquarters of Cryovac, the Sealed Air Corporation, and headed back to the Forklift Rodeo for the nail-biting finale.
We are once again in the sunshine, gathered behind the Traffic Center at Leigh Fibers; on two sides we are sheltered by a copse of long-needle pines planted 50 years ago by Lamar’s father. A freight train rattles past the ridge just on the other side of the pines.

In the world at large the Polish president’s twin brother is overcoming his grief in order to take over his brother’s perch atop the Polish government; this will be a boon to geneticists as well as writers of international & political intrigue. In Malta they are debating whether or not to remove a certain vertical sculpture deemed to be potentially offensive to the Pope, as it would be almost the first thing he would see upon landing at the Malta International Airport in Luqa. In Italy they are celebrating the feast Margaret of Citta di Castello (died 1320). Her claim to fame is that she levitated while praying. Try it, and you will see that this is not simple.

We here at Leigh are holding our breath to know whether Brian Hunter will keep his spot at the top of the standings, or whether brother Hilton will beat his sibling’s time.

And now I can tell you. As of 3 pm, Brian remains in first place. Hilton performed admirably, coming in at 5:44. He held onto second place for several rounds, until Paul Hayes did the course in 5:35. Then Henry Bridges upset the rankings further by whipping through the course in 5: 39, beating out Hilton for third place, as well as beating his son, Cory’s time by almost three minutes. The triumph of experience over youth, hah!

The Hunter brothers taking sustenance.
Once again, the fun was not limited to nail-biting suspense, cutthroat competition and tallying the penalty times. A barbecued lunch of burgers, dogs and ribs was cooked and served up by Southeastern Forklift, one of the companies vying for the pleasure of selling 26 new forklifts and 48 batteries to Leigh Fibers. This catering coup was accomplished by none other than Organizer Extraordinaire, Lamar Nelson.

Scorekeepers, Course Managers and Contenders, Paul Middleton and Paul Hayes
The afternoon featured several competitors of the female persuasion, not one of whom had any previous experience on a forklift. Jennifer Lackey of HR blew away her competition (and vastly improved on her time of 2 years ago) with 15:35. Parris Hicks-Chernez was a speed demon on the course, but lost ground with her accumulated penalties (Several traffic cones lost their lives, or their shapes.)

Kathy Higaki of Marketing dressed for the occasion.
I could go on, but it’s time to fly home. This is especially frustrating because, so I am told by my sources, José Garcia, the last contestant to drive the course, is fast and efficicent and could upset all the current standings. So stay tuned.

Have I mentioned that the prizes are really great? (And donated, again, thanks to Lamar.)

Forklift Rodeo

In Chile, they may be celebrating Saint Teresa de los Andes for her short and holy life, and of course fishermen across the world are surely tossing out a lure in honor of Saint Zeno who is their patron saint, but here at Leigh Fibers in Spartanburg South Carolina, we are attending the triennial Forklift Rodeo.


The Forklift Rodeo is the brainchild of Lamar Nelson, the Shipping Manager here at Leigh. Lamar is a man of myriad interests and skills. He is part Cherokee and has built a sweat lodge in his Spartanburg backyard. His collection of arrowheads is a valued resource source for historians of South Carolina.Just for starters.
As we watch the men and women of Leigh Fibers drive their forklifts though a slalom course of traffic cones topped with tennis balls, lift bales without disrupting the bucket of water on top and perform other feats of speed and dexterity, Lamar tells me how they have identified the largest Holly Tree in South Carolina (or is Spartanburg County?) in the nature trail in the woods across from Leigh’s plant, where he has also identified at least sixty native plants (so far) including two varieties of orchid.

Lamar believes that maintaining one’s forklift skills should be entertaining, both to the driver and the spectator.
Several years ago he came up with the plan for a Forklift Rodeo at Leigh, and researched similar events on the web. He had to modify the course for the squeeze clamp forklifts used here to pick up the 600 lb bales of recycled fiber materials.
The result is a day of thrills, camaraderie, and great prizes.

It’s a deceptively hard course. Unlike the robots used to perform brain surgery, the forklift is not an overly sensitive machine. Or it is far too sensitive. Choose your excuse.

The task at Station #1 is to lift up 2 bales with a bucket of water on top, and get those bales to the dock and then back to their original spot, exactly, without losing more than an inch of water from the bucket. Each lost inch adds 30 seconds to your time.

At Station #3 you must grab and clamp a bale with a barrel on top and a soccer ball on top of the barrel, and get this wedding cake from x to y without losing the ball. We watch with baited breath as the ball careens from side to side across the top of the barrel, dangerously close to bouncing over the rim and off into the penalty zone (10 seconds).

At Station #10, the task is to clamp a bale wearing twin clown hats: two traffic cones with tennis balls perched atop each one, then take this package through a tight squeeze of bales with water filled balloons on top and on to the finish line. Without breaking a water balloon or losing a tennis ball.

There are penalties for lost water, a dropped balloon, for knocking off the soccer ball or tennis balls, and for dropping the bale outside of the drop zone.

As of this afternoon Brian Hunter broke the six-minute barrier and vaulted to first place with 5:15; Otto Johnson is in second with 5:59. Cathy Alexander (with the grey mullet, seen above.) made good time but lost a lot on penalties.
Your faithful blogger, having been granted a temporary and very provisional forklift Learner’s Permit*, did the course in 28 minutes and 1 second, with excellent coaching and no water buckets.
Lest you think it is all fun out there on the forklift course, be assured it is not. There are also tee shirts with a Western motif, designed by Parris Chernez-Hicks, and food. In particular, three homemade sheet cakes. Managing Director Heidi emerged briefly from the conference room to oversee the activities, and insisted upon digging into the chocolate cake. Being a world-renowned connoisseur of chocolate, she deemed it excellent. But Dee Dees, who actually baked the cakes, was distressed that we did not also try the strawberry cake and the Heath Bar Crunch cake, her favorites. We did. And they were good.

Tomorrow promises to be equally exciting, with several top contenders slated to perform the course, including several of last year’s top five, as well as ringers, Parris and Jennifer Lackey.

*If you are with the South Carolina Department of Motor Vehicles, I am only kidding.