How many shears?

Last weekend we cleaned out the potting shed. The potting shed, theoretically, is a thing of beauty. It is an old old building though I couldn't tell you if it is older than the house, which is quite old indeed. It is half subterranean, with stone walls rising chthonically from below to wooden beams and a lovely slate roof; the wooden frame and beams are, alas, of great interest to the carpenter bees, my nemeses in this season as they hover just out of reach and taunt me.
But it is not my intention to either extol the potting shed or castigate the carpenter bees, much as either task seems appealing just now. No, because in the course of cleaning out the potting shed - removing every last thing from its dark hidden depths, disturbing the cobwebs and spider sacs - we found six pairs of hedge shears.
No one needs six pairs of hedge shears. And least of all we with our minimal hedges and less inclination to trim them.They all have rust, but the degree of rust varies. Two have hardwood handles. One is the Ames Miracle. One has TFE coated blades. One is a Fiskars Power-Lever 10-incher and that is the rustiest of all. The Green Thumb Power Lever is supposed to increase your cutting power without requiring extra effort. And maybe that is what happened long ago when the shears were new.Maybe that could happen still if the blades were not rusted.
Even in their prime, not one of these hedge shears were of the professional grade needed for topiaries.
It is highly likely the hedges will remain unsheared.