This just in from our culinary correspondent in Colorado:
We went to this barbecue place for dinner (good coleslaw and onion rings, thank goodness for me). Anyway, their claim to fame is the best baby back ribs in CO, because they come from Denmark. Why, we ask our youthful foreign-born waitress? Because the cows are fed tulips. And they are made to all sleep on one side, so one side is much plumper and juicer. And how, I wonder, do they control the sleeping arrangements. With rods as flippers if they catch a defiant sleeper?