Monday, March 22, 2010

Beekeeping legal in NYC - what will be next?

As you may already know, after years of being ignominiously lumped with other verboten ‘venomous animals’ by the nature-loving Giuliani, honeybees can now be legal residents of NYC.
But you what you probably do not know is that devotees of the Domino Theory (and yes, they are out there) are already at work drinking tea and predicting what rectangular tile will be the next to fall in the ineluctable path towards anarchy and hive-democracy.

People who keep abreast of these things are pointing out the many similarities between bees and BB guns (alliteration), honey-beekeeping and satanic worship (same number of letters), beekeeping and cricket fighting (insects for human pleasure). From there, it is but a small step to legalizing painting yourself green and marching on Fifth Avenue with no underwear.

Pretty soon your neighbors will say that if you can keep bees because you need honey for your allergies, then they can keep a rhinoceros because they need the tusks for aphrodisiacs, and which is more of a neighborly menace: a swarm of bees
or a charging rhinoceros? Clearly, it’s a slippery slope.

The good news: Beekeeping in NYC is legal.
The bad news: My brief glory days as an apicultural renegade scofflaw are officially over. I have rejoined the ranks of law-abiding citizens who have barbecues in the summer, turkey at Thanksgiving, and pink cupcakes on Valentines Day.

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