What about dental floss?

My brother (unnamed, you know who you are) just sent me the following article, from a news magazine, The Week, of 13 April 2012. It raises some thorny questions.
"Tampa officials have released a list of items considered a security threat during the Republican National Convention in August, including water pistols, masks and even pieces of string. Firearms are not on the list. State gun laws prohibit any local restriction on the carrying of guns. "If we'd tried to regulate guns, it wouldn't have worked," says a city official."

Does dental floss count as string? I don't know about you, but I don't like to go anywhere without dental floss. Dental floss is useful for many things, such as a tourniquet in cases of snake bit. It can be used to construct the rigging of a thee-masted schooner you are making with a hollowed out watermelon. If you write a book while waiting in line you can bind it with dental floss, just don't forget to paginate. If your hair is flying all over the place you can tie it up with dental floss. While dental floss is not strong enough to be used - in pinch - as a leash for Daisy or Bruno, it works very well for a carpenter bee or a stinkbug, if you happen to catch one and want to take it for a stroll.
And then there is the use for which dental floss is meant.Back when I smoked pot (and this may have precipitated the end of my pot-smoking days), immediately upon feeling the effects of marijuana I felt compelled to floss my teeth vigorously and at length. To floss them until they bled.
And what about masks?

If you are having a bad day, say your pet tiger just escaped and was shot by the local sheriff, or your basement flooded and the 100 pounds of Jasmine rice that you were saving for a rainy day cooked itself and expanded so much that it burst though the walls of your closet and oozed all over the basement and now every mouse in the county has moved in, or perhaps it is the sixtieth birthday of your ex-husband, or it would have been his 60th, had he lived, and you are miserable and overwhelmed by sadness and intimations of mortality, well there is only one thing I can suggest to alleviate the problem: reorganize out your medicine cabinet.
Perhaps this is not the first thing that occurred to you.
But I can vouch for its efficacy.
I found it impossible to weep while I figuring out the difference between witch hazel and hydrogen peroxide, and then memorizing their many hitherto-unknown-to-me uses, such as: Hydrogen peroxide for whitening animal bones, removing fresh blood stains, controlling fish fungus, and removing skunk odor.
Witch hazel for pimples, hemorrhoids & after shave.
And in order to count how many packages of dental floss (more than 8, all freebies from the dentist) you have, you must concentrate and that means you are not obsessing about birthday presents you might have given your ex-husband when he was not your ex, and alive. It is impossible to simultaneously calculate the total length of dental floss and regret that you never found him a first edition of William Burroughs’ Naked Lunch.
[Since reading the expiration dates of all the OTC medications is sure to remind you of mortality, I would not recommend that route.]
Instead, organize all your tubes and bottles of sunscreen and arrange them in ascending order of SPF strength (Bain de Soleil 8 to Neutrogena 70).
And if the above is not enough distraction from your misery, you can tackle the mystery of why you have so many tubes of Neosporin (Original and Maximum Strength), Bacitracin, Hydrocortisone cream and Benadryl anti-itch cream.
And please, let me know what you figure out.
As a last resort: paint the inside of the medicine cabinet bright blue or green.